Alameda Slim grew up a poor boy. He lived with his strong, manly, quiet father, his lustful, greedy, cheating mother, and his trouble-making, devious little half-brother Alphonse Slick
. Slim's parents met in Texas where they used to live until they ran away from home to get hitched and become crooks. Slim's father was the son of the Town's Sheriff and his mother was the daughter of the Town's Judge. Together they stole, ruined private property, and did what ever they wanted. They broke out of the 'slammer' many times and eventually faked their deaths and moved to Nebraska
after finding out they were expecting a child. Slim's father struggled and worked very hard as a farmhand to keep food on the table and the draft out of their small, beat-up, one bedroom house. Slim's mother was lazy and selfish and flirted with the neighbors and the men in town all the time. One year after Alameda's birth his mother was once again pregnant with a stranger's child. She had been seeing this 'stranger' on and off for several months until he was shot during a bar fight in another town. Their child, who Slim's mother ended up naming Alphonse
, looked similar to her husband and thought this would fool him into thinking it was his son, but Slim's father was no dummy and knew the child was not his, yet he raised the boy like he was his own. *~Slim's Name~*
For a few years, Alameda and Alphonse shared the couch in the living room as their bed. The family was very, very poor and was unable to provide enough food and space for them to live happy, normal lives. But one day, Slim's father was given their neighbor's farm, house, and money after many years of service to the farmer who had no children to pass down his inheritance to. Even when they had enough money for much more food Alameda remained a tall, skinny
boy, so his friends and family called him by his last name more often than none- Slim
.*~Why Slim rides a Buffalo and not a Horse~*
Slim was taught by his father the ropes and ends about farmland, cattle ranching, and riding horseback. While Slim's father loved his sons deeply, especially Slim, he also punished the boys often because they were so naughty. They stole out of the neighbors' houses and stores in the town. They threw rocks and dirt at animals and people. And they always played nasty tricks on everyone- except for their father, for they knew they would receive a good spanking if caught.
Despite being the younger brother, Alphonse was the one who plotted out their daily naughtiness and egged on his brother. One day Alphonse made Slim try to ride one of the meanest horses on the farm. As soon as Slim pulled himself up onto the horse, the beast went wild and flung him all around. It eventually threw him off and almost trampled Slim to death. From that day onward Slim had a terrible fear of horses and now only rides a Buffalo named Junior. *~Where Slim Learned To Yodel~*
On Slim's 12th birthday a man came to town with his daughter. The two were yodeling on the streets until people started throwing tomatoes at them. They tried cleaning themselves up behind a building when Slim approached them. He explained to them that he loved
their music and wanted to know how to sing like that. Seeing the determination in Slim's eyes, the man and his young daughter taught Slim the art of yodeling for a good month. By that time Slim had become a pro, but no one seemed to appreciate his yodeling, not even at home. His brother and a few of his friends made fun of him and so Slim was ashamed and stopped yodeling in front of people for a loooong time.~*Before Slim was 'Bad'*~
After the death of their Father, Slim and Alphonse went their separate ways. Alphonse went to work in the city up North and Slim became a farmhand to several other farms. His own farm went bankrupt and he sadly had to sell it- his mother moved back to their small and drafty house. By then Slim was no longer Slim
. He ate often and built up a lot of muscle doing a lot of work.
On a hot, boring day Slim took a break from his job and just watched the cows in the pasture. With no one around he began yodeling and to his surprise the cows started dancing and had a hypnotic-like daze to them. Slim found out that he was able to control and hypnotize the cows and it made his work a lot easier. Unfortunately his Ranch Bosses did not like his music- really just found it plain annoying and one after another after another after another they fired him, his attitude growing much more gruesome each time.
Finally Slim could not take it any longer and decided to get back at the 'stuck-up Ranch Bosses' for not appreciating his talents by stealing their cattle and buying their land.*~Slim's Nephews~*
During the time Slim was about to rage quit
on his job as a farmhand, his brother Alphonse came for a visit with his three sons- Gil, Phil, and Bill. Alphonse and Slim had not spoken in a very long time and so they had a long discussion about their lives. Alphonse found out from their mother that his father's last name was Slick. He replaced his last name 'Slim' with 'Slick'. He thought it suitable now that he was a City-Slicker
anyway. He met a women in the city and they married and had four children- Gil, Phil, Bil, and their infant daughter Jill. Unfortunately the two fought often and one day Slick's wife just up and left. Slick's sons kept their mother's last name- 'Willie'.
Alphonse Slick told his brother that he'd be going away for a week with his daughter Jill to spend quality time with her and asked for Slim to watch his sons. Slim agreed to it and expected Slick to return for his sons exactly one week later... But he never showed. It had turned out that Slick was sick of the boys' idiocy and dropped them off with Slim so he can take care of them for the rest of his life.
((I did not come up with these headcanons
did. She said I could post them because I, too, agree with the headcanons :3))